It's Back

I hesitated to state that: It's back.  The vertigo is back.  I had hoped it was just a short little relapse because I'd overworked myself a bit.  


Seven days ago while I was at work, I started feeling a little fuzzy-headed.  I thought it was just the usual thing that happens if I wait a little too long to eat; I thought it would go away after I had lunch.  I had a good, satisfying lunch and went back to work, but it didn't go away.  


I ended up leaving work three hours early.  I hoped that I would be over it the next time I was scheduled to work (two days later), but I had to call out for that day.  The next day, I attempted to go in because I didn't feel dizzy in the morning. It hit again as soon as business picked up and I had to be more on my toes. I lasted an hour and fifteen minutes that day.  Not what I had hoped for.


The dizziness has gone up and down since then.  Yesterday I did manage to work a few hours, but it was Sunday, which is pretty slow, and even then I had to take it really easy.  By 2:00 when my shift was over, I was ready to come home and take a nap.  


I have to keep working somehow, but my job is pretty hard on my body which causes me stress over my plans to start this mobile massage business.  I've entertained the possibility that the vertigo is being triggered by stress. Other ideas I've entertained are shifts in weather patterns (seasonal changes), physical strain from certain types of movement, stiffness in my neck and shoulders, and deep inner ear infections (my ears occasionally pop like I'm on an airplane).  


Each of these ideas has been entertained because there was something of the sort going on at one time or another while I suffered from vertigo.  The reason I can't really seem to pin it on anything particular is that these conditions all also exist in varying degrees when I do not feel the effects of vertigo; and none of them are present every single time it shows up.  The medical community, even the more specialized doctor I saw during that big long fiasco of the first appearance, is equally mystified as to the cause.  "It could be this. We've seen it caused by this. There's no way it can be because of that."  Mixed responses exist for the various possible causes of vertigo, depending on which doctor or medical organization is speaking. 


I haven't visited a doctor for this recurrence. So far, I don't see the point.  They're just going to run their tests and prescribe me the drugs that make me muzzy headed and force me to sleep more.  Well, with the exception of last night, sleep is something I have definitely not been missing out on.  


I have some exercises I found online which are supposed to help a person with vertigo maintain balance even when the vertigo is active.  The overview states that they seem easy when you read the instructions, but when you factor in the mixed signals that happen in your brain while vertigo is doing its thing, they become much more difficult to complete.  I have to say I agree with that.  Oh boy.  But I'm hopeful that they will work for me.  


If not, I am completely out of ideas.

Nixon's Love

Nixon and I had one of those moments this afternoon when I was given a reminder about why I love him so much, even though he's a devilish little imp most of the time. I was sitting on the couch feeling tired and dizzy (and tired of being dizzy) and asked him for a hug. At first he said no because he was too busy jumping on the couch (making me more dizzy), but after a few minutes he came over and said "Hug, Nana?". So I got my hug and he decided to hang around on my lap for a while, telling me about the fast dinosaurs coming through the trees. Then his face got very serious, like he was concentrating deeply on solving the world's problems. When I asked him what he was thinking about, he said "Trains. On a track." I smiled at him and he said, "No, Nana. Trains on a track." Then he smiled back and the whole world was filled with love and light.