Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
Public Toilets - Not for the Queasy to Read
Want to know what annoys the crap out of (and sometimes back up into) me? People who don't show common courtesy in public toilets. That includes the toilet shared by 100+ employees of my office.
The top items from my list of annoyances can all be avoided if the person in the toilet ahead of me would just look at what she just did. (I say she since I would almost always be in a women's toilet - unless I'm drunk at a bar on a Hash pub crawl - then all bets are off.)
So what's my list? Here are some high points: (Note: I am now directing my comments to the unknown masses guilty of all the discourtesies listed below. I have not completely forgotten my grammar/literary teachings.)
1-water puddles on the sink. If you take that paper towel you just used to dry your hands, and dry off the counter before you walk away, the next person up doesn't set her valuables (purse, cell phone, etc.) down in your puddle. Simple common courtesy. I bet you'd be ticked if you sat your cell phone down in the water someone else left behind. Take 1/2 second to think about it, then another 1 1/2 seconds to wipe it up!
2-hair in/on the sink area from someone who combed her hair. I don't want to look at your hair in the sink. I don't want to look at my hair in the sink. I want to see your hair on your head, and my hair on my head. If the hair won't stay there, it should be wiped up and thrown away. It does not belong in the sink.
3-used paper towels that missed the trashcan and were left on the floor where they landed. This is not a basketball game. There is not a young person hanging around just waiting for you to drop the ball so they can pick it up. Pick up your own blasted trash and throw it away!
4-drops of pee on the floor, seat, rim, etc. Um, OK. If you are so afraid to touch your own pee with a wad off tissue, what in the world makes you think anyone else wants to touch it? There is toilet paper right there in the stall for mopping up the mess, and then a sink with soap, water and paper towels with which to clean your hands. Use all of the above and quite peeing on the seat. With a hole as big as that, there's no reason you can't make it inside unless you are standing on top of the seat trying to hose the whole stall down. WTF?
5-incompletely flushed toilets. You know you pooped. You may have hit the toggle for the toilet to flush, but that doesn't mean the toilet is going to take in everything you deposited on the first try. Look behind yourself before you walk out of the stall and make sure all your stuff is gone. I do not want to look at your poop.
6-pads or tampons tossed in the trash/feminine product basket unwrapped. You know you bled. I don't care that you bled. I don't want to see your blood. There's toilet paper right there in the stall where you changed your product. Wrap it up before you toss it in the trash.
The top items from my list of annoyances can all be avoided if the person in the toilet ahead of me would just look at what she just did. (I say she since I would almost always be in a women's toilet - unless I'm drunk at a bar on a Hash pub crawl - then all bets are off.)
So what's my list? Here are some high points: (Note: I am now directing my comments to the unknown masses guilty of all the discourtesies listed below. I have not completely forgotten my grammar/literary teachings.)
1-water puddles on the sink. If you take that paper towel you just used to dry your hands, and dry off the counter before you walk away, the next person up doesn't set her valuables (purse, cell phone, etc.) down in your puddle. Simple common courtesy. I bet you'd be ticked if you sat your cell phone down in the water someone else left behind. Take 1/2 second to think about it, then another 1 1/2 seconds to wipe it up!
2-hair in/on the sink area from someone who combed her hair. I don't want to look at your hair in the sink. I don't want to look at my hair in the sink. I want to see your hair on your head, and my hair on my head. If the hair won't stay there, it should be wiped up and thrown away. It does not belong in the sink.
3-used paper towels that missed the trashcan and were left on the floor where they landed. This is not a basketball game. There is not a young person hanging around just waiting for you to drop the ball so they can pick it up. Pick up your own blasted trash and throw it away!
4-drops of pee on the floor, seat, rim, etc. Um, OK. If you are so afraid to touch your own pee with a wad off tissue, what in the world makes you think anyone else wants to touch it? There is toilet paper right there in the stall for mopping up the mess, and then a sink with soap, water and paper towels with which to clean your hands. Use all of the above and quite peeing on the seat. With a hole as big as that, there's no reason you can't make it inside unless you are standing on top of the seat trying to hose the whole stall down. WTF?
5-incompletely flushed toilets. You know you pooped. You may have hit the toggle for the toilet to flush, but that doesn't mean the toilet is going to take in everything you deposited on the first try. Look behind yourself before you walk out of the stall and make sure all your stuff is gone. I do not want to look at your poop.
6-pads or tampons tossed in the trash/feminine product basket unwrapped. You know you bled. I don't care that you bled. I don't want to see your blood. There's toilet paper right there in the stall where you changed your product. Wrap it up before you toss it in the trash.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
So last night I was trying to write my Pathology report for this week. I was apparently more tired than I thought. I was nodding in and out and typing in my sleep. At one point I woke up and read what I had just typed. I actually typed the following sentence: “This condition can be diagnosed by watching this video my Mom just emailed to me.”
Monday, October 19, 2009
So the man went and got himself hurt - bad enough to need emergency surgery. We spent the weekend of 10/9 - 10/11 in the hospital, brought him home and kept him cooped up since then. He's moving around much better, and taking less of the pain meds, which is a great relief for us both. Today we have a follow up with his surgeon. Considering how lackadaisical the doctor was just getting us a work excuse, I'm thinking we'll be in the office for a while today. Crossing fingers, toes, eyes, hearts, and whatever else I can cross that he can go back to work soon, but he's still sleeping a lot so I don't know. The call has been made to start the short term disability process.
Friday, October 02, 2009
wats up wit u?
A little update on the last couple of posts - I've gotten pretty bad about this. :-(
Bought a car, got the CARS deal. The new car is a Nissan Cube in Caribbean Blue. Love him! (He's a boy car, not a girl car like all my previous cars.) Excellent mileage (which of course was a requirement for CARS), handles like a dream. The transmission is a new-fangled thingie called CVT (which I think means Continuous Velocity Transmission - it means it doesn't shift gears. It's a giant rubberband that expands and contracts based on your speed.) He's got cruise control, AC (that works, unlike poor Abby's at the end), and about a million cup holders that are constantly filled with half-drunk sodas, waters, and XS energy drinks. The back seat actually moves forward and back like a front seat, and folds forward or back so passengers can lay down if they want. There's a jack where I can plug my iPhone in and listen to the music on it. He looks sort of odd - a Cube is a cube. But he grows on you quickly - especially after riding in him once and seeing just how roomy he is!
So that's the bit about the car.
School is going very well. My instructor, Jen, is very supportive and we get along great. My scores are almost all 100's except for one or two. I have a test or quiz almost every class. The best nights are when we get to go on "field trips" to the other class and let them practice on us. :-)
Yaw decided to get back into his Amway/Quixtar business, so we've jumped into that with both feet. We've done well with sales so far and attended a convention last weekend that truly rocked my world. I was very impressed by the positive energy all around me the whole time. It was very inspiring I'll add a link to his page so folks can look around if they want. We've begun doing a lot of our own household shopping through the online store and so far I've been impressed with everything we've tried.
Bought a car, got the CARS deal. The new car is a Nissan Cube in Caribbean Blue. Love him! (He's a boy car, not a girl car like all my previous cars.) Excellent mileage (which of course was a requirement for CARS), handles like a dream. The transmission is a new-fangled thingie called CVT (which I think means Continuous Velocity Transmission - it means it doesn't shift gears. It's a giant rubberband that expands and contracts based on your speed.) He's got cruise control, AC (that works, unlike poor Abby's at the end), and about a million cup holders that are constantly filled with half-drunk sodas, waters, and XS energy drinks. The back seat actually moves forward and back like a front seat, and folds forward or back so passengers can lay down if they want. There's a jack where I can plug my iPhone in and listen to the music on it. He looks sort of odd - a Cube is a cube. But he grows on you quickly - especially after riding in him once and seeing just how roomy he is!
So that's the bit about the car.
School is going very well. My instructor, Jen, is very supportive and we get along great. My scores are almost all 100's except for one or two. I have a test or quiz almost every class. The best nights are when we get to go on "field trips" to the other class and let them practice on us. :-)
Yaw decided to get back into his Amway/Quixtar business, so we've jumped into that with both feet. We've done well with sales so far and attended a convention last weekend that truly rocked my world. I was very impressed by the positive energy all around me the whole time. It was very inspiring I'll add a link to his page so folks can look around if they want. We've begun doing a lot of our own household shopping through the online store and so far I've been impressed with everything we've tried.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Moved Again
I don't care how many times I've been proven wrong in the past. I will continue to repeat this mantra until it comes true!
I am not moving again. I am not moving again. I am not moving again.
Did it work yet? Nope. I just moved again. This time, back toTitusville. The advantage is that I'm a quick 4-minute drive from work. The disadvantage is that I lose my lovely beach and the new place is slightly smaller.
Otherwise all is quiet.
Oh wait, there's that thing where I started school Tuesday night. Second class session is tonight and so far I think I'm on top of it. Might be a little early to tell.
Oh, and I'm trying to trade my truck in for something more fuel efficient. Going after a great deal using the CARS program. So far, only test drove one car. Hope to have three more test drives before the weekend is over.
I am not moving again. I am not moving again. I am not moving again.
Did it work yet? Nope. I just moved again. This time, back toTitusville. The advantage is that I'm a quick 4-minute drive from work. The disadvantage is that I lose my lovely beach and the new place is slightly smaller.
Otherwise all is quiet.
Oh wait, there's that thing where I started school Tuesday night. Second class session is tonight and so far I think I'm on top of it. Might be a little early to tell.
Oh, and I'm trying to trade my truck in for something more fuel efficient. Going after a great deal using the CARS program. So far, only test drove one car. Hope to have three more test drives before the weekend is over.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Monkey See Monkey Do
So someone sent out one of those emails where they list tons of "useful" little tidbits of info, like putting a dryer sheet in your pocket to ward off mosquitos or peeling a banana from the bottom to avoid those little stringy bits. In the last 3 days, I've tried both helpful hints listed above, and guess what! Neither of them worked! Go figure.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
A Modern Kind of Hell
Sitting (or lounging) on the sofa, remote in hand, switching between two channels. At first it works to back up over everything that happened while you were on the other channel.
And then it doesn't and you're forced to flip back and forth between the two, while they play their commercial breaks simultaneously.
Just. To. Taunt. You.
And then it doesn't and you're forced to flip back and forth between the two, while they play their commercial breaks simultaneously.
Just. To. Taunt. You.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The Future
It keeps looking at me. Sometimes it stares. Sometimes it's annoying because I'm not sure how I'm going to get to the goal I've set. Sometimes it's challenging me and I feel like pouncing on it and tearing it to shreds just to prove that I am more than up to that challenge.
I have full confidence that once I find the best way to get started on my goal, I will achieve it and make the best use of the skills I gain. The goal itself isn't my challenge right now. My challenge is funding that goal. Another challenge is deciding the best way to work towards it once the funding is out of the way.
Beyond the funding roadblock (which I expect to clear very soon, one way or another), there are two paths before me. (Clarification: there are infinite paths before me, but I am focused on two of them.) The first path is the original way I intended to go about reaching my goal, and the second is a new option offered to me by Yaw which I am taking into consideration.
It might help to know what the crazy goal is, I guess. I plan to start Massage Therapy School in August. Initially I will use this as a mode of bringing in extra income to help out with some common goals Yaw and I have set. In time, I may be able to make it my full-time job and stop working for giant companies who only care about the bottom line. So. On to the two paths.
Path one: continue working for the giant company full-time and take the courses part-time, which will cost about the same, but will take twice as long and I will have no time for social activities and very little rest. But I will be gainfully employed with all my benefits in place. Under the current economic black cloud, that seems to be the safest course.
Path two: apply for a six-month leave of absence from the giant company, take up a part-time job (maybe McHell again - they have benefits for part-timers if I remember correctly), and do the course full-time. The danger here is that since the leave of absence is not for military service (like the Reserves), and its purpose in no way increases my value to said giant company, there is nothing keeping said giant company from filling my position while I am gone. Admittedly, since I do believe I will be quite good at massage, and the school I want to attend offers placement upon certification, this is probably not as big a deal as I am making it.
Yaw seems to be highly in favor of me taking the second path. I know between us we could make the bills work - not even a little doubt of that. Further support of his plan comes from the fact that our giant company has been making giant changes lately, and so far each one seems to screw the peons at the bottom (ie. ME) a little more. They raised our health insurance payments and next year the option I have will no longer be available - I'll be forced to either take on a High Deductible Savings Account, or find insurance elsewhere. This year no one got raises (when I say no one, I have no idea if the upper escelons are included). Each year they take our bonues and give them to some charity - I don't mind giving to the charity, but I want it to be my own choice - this way it only makes the company look good.
I am feeling pretty fed up with giant company world and am thinking that this is a good time to turn the world upside down again. Once I have this taken care of, I can go back to the path Ann wants me to follow, which is to complete my Bachelor's in business so that I can run my own place and be the most awesome Massage Therapist and Reiki Master (once I get my second and third attunements) in the state of Florida.
Now that I have vomitted out all (most?) of my thoughts on this matter (for the moment), I need to get started with my Saturday morning so I can get it over with and get on to Saturday afternoon where all the fun stuff happens.
I have full confidence that once I find the best way to get started on my goal, I will achieve it and make the best use of the skills I gain. The goal itself isn't my challenge right now. My challenge is funding that goal. Another challenge is deciding the best way to work towards it once the funding is out of the way.
Beyond the funding roadblock (which I expect to clear very soon, one way or another), there are two paths before me. (Clarification: there are infinite paths before me, but I am focused on two of them.) The first path is the original way I intended to go about reaching my goal, and the second is a new option offered to me by Yaw which I am taking into consideration.
It might help to know what the crazy goal is, I guess. I plan to start Massage Therapy School in August. Initially I will use this as a mode of bringing in extra income to help out with some common goals Yaw and I have set. In time, I may be able to make it my full-time job and stop working for giant companies who only care about the bottom line. So. On to the two paths.
Path one: continue working for the giant company full-time and take the courses part-time, which will cost about the same, but will take twice as long and I will have no time for social activities and very little rest. But I will be gainfully employed with all my benefits in place. Under the current economic black cloud, that seems to be the safest course.
Path two: apply for a six-month leave of absence from the giant company, take up a part-time job (maybe McHell again - they have benefits for part-timers if I remember correctly), and do the course full-time. The danger here is that since the leave of absence is not for military service (like the Reserves), and its purpose in no way increases my value to said giant company, there is nothing keeping said giant company from filling my position while I am gone. Admittedly, since I do believe I will be quite good at massage, and the school I want to attend offers placement upon certification, this is probably not as big a deal as I am making it.
Yaw seems to be highly in favor of me taking the second path. I know between us we could make the bills work - not even a little doubt of that. Further support of his plan comes from the fact that our giant company has been making giant changes lately, and so far each one seems to screw the peons at the bottom (ie. ME) a little more. They raised our health insurance payments and next year the option I have will no longer be available - I'll be forced to either take on a High Deductible Savings Account, or find insurance elsewhere. This year no one got raises (when I say no one, I have no idea if the upper escelons are included). Each year they take our bonues and give them to some charity - I don't mind giving to the charity, but I want it to be my own choice - this way it only makes the company look good.
I am feeling pretty fed up with giant company world and am thinking that this is a good time to turn the world upside down again. Once I have this taken care of, I can go back to the path Ann wants me to follow, which is to complete my Bachelor's in business so that I can run my own place and be the most awesome Massage Therapist and Reiki Master (once I get my second and third attunements) in the state of Florida.
Now that I have vomitted out all (most?) of my thoughts on this matter (for the moment), I need to get started with my Saturday morning so I can get it over with and get on to Saturday afternoon where all the fun stuff happens.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Hopi Message from YouTube
I agree with a lot of what is said in this message and I am working on some of the things he says we all need to live by.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Memory
Driving home on A1A tonight, going about 37 in a 35 zone (and being passed by other cars). I was in the left-hand northbound lane. A couple decided it was time to cross, never mind cross-walks; never mind typical human walking speed -vs- accelerating moving vehicle (truck) speed; they were ready to cross so they did.
The way they timed it, they were just fast enough to be out of the right hand lane before those cars caught up, but were not moving nearly fast enough to be out of my way before I reached them. The man noticed this and sped up. The woman noticed this, slowed down and I'm pretty sure dared me not to hit the brakes, which of course I was hitting hard and fast. I couldn't swerve to the right because there were other cars coming. I couldn't swerve to the left because then I would hit the man. All I could do was keep hitting the brake and pray, so that's what I did.
When the woman was less than 3 feet from my front end, I finally moved a finger in reach of the horn and blasted. She turned, glared at me, flipped me the bird, and slowly took the last step needed to keep from becoming a new hood ornament for my truck.
I got myself over to the right as quickly and safely as I could, slowing traffic down as I determined the closest/safest road to turn right onto and get away from any other possible collisions. I pulled onto the edge of someone's front yard, opened my door and vomited on the street, then sat there with the engine running and the emergency flashers flashing while I gathered myself, wiped away tears, tried not to hyperventilate.
You may wonder why I had such a harsh reaction. It's amazing to me how, so many years later, something can trigger a memory that you thought was safely tucked away from ever seeing the light of day, and then be proven oh so wrong.
I was sixteen. I'd barely had my license a month and I wanted to drive to school for chorus practice. My father had a bad feeling about it and tried to talk me out of it, but it didn't work. I have always been pretty stubborn. I drove to school in the twilight time, with a light rain dusting the windshield off and on. I was almost there - I had just pulled out from the stop light and was accelerating up to the speed limit, but hadn't reached it yet. About 100 feet from the driveway to the school, a man ran out into the road, supposedly chasing a dog. I never saw a dog. I never saw the man until sometime in the instant before the hole showed up in my windshield. I found myself stopped in the road looking at the hole and knew something wasn't right, but wasn't really sure what. I pulled into the parking lot and parked the car, but didn't turn it off or turn off the lights. I think someone else did that for me after the police came. There were people around a big pile of something in the road. It was a man and he was clearly hurt pretty badly. I was still confused but things were starting to come together - or apart, as it were.
A lot of questions were asked by the police. A friend of mine who was also coming to the chorus practice, found me and I asked her to go call my parents. They came for me, spoke to the police, arranged to get my car back home (I think my brother actually had to drive it - something I don't think I ever thanked him for), and they brought me home.
The next day my mother brought me in to work with her at the family business. Everything was fine until the insurance adjuster called and started asking me questions. I couldn't answer anything, all I could do was cry. My father took the phone away from me and told the man he should never call again - that the insurance company would have to find someone else to handle my case. He was not going to have me badgered and tortured. The man really was very rude and inconsiderate, and my Dad was once again my John Wayne hero, come to save the day.
The man in the road later sued my insurance company for damages. I still believe it cannot have been my fault - there is evidence to the contrary in the way the dents were positioned on my car. By Virginia's very strict rulings on how guilt would be determined, I would probably have been found not guilty if the insurance company's lawyers had gone to court. But they decided to settle instead. I don't think I mind that much - I believe he was wrong, but he still suffered. If the money he got from the insurance company helped in some small way, I'm glad for him.
But he was wrong and he blamed it on a scared, young, new driver who was full of all the drama and terror of the teen years. It took my family almost four months to convince me to get behind the wheel again.
And obviously I am still not completely over it.
The way they timed it, they were just fast enough to be out of the right hand lane before those cars caught up, but were not moving nearly fast enough to be out of my way before I reached them. The man noticed this and sped up. The woman noticed this, slowed down and I'm pretty sure dared me not to hit the brakes, which of course I was hitting hard and fast. I couldn't swerve to the right because there were other cars coming. I couldn't swerve to the left because then I would hit the man. All I could do was keep hitting the brake and pray, so that's what I did.
When the woman was less than 3 feet from my front end, I finally moved a finger in reach of the horn and blasted. She turned, glared at me, flipped me the bird, and slowly took the last step needed to keep from becoming a new hood ornament for my truck.
I got myself over to the right as quickly and safely as I could, slowing traffic down as I determined the closest/safest road to turn right onto and get away from any other possible collisions. I pulled onto the edge of someone's front yard, opened my door and vomited on the street, then sat there with the engine running and the emergency flashers flashing while I gathered myself, wiped away tears, tried not to hyperventilate.
You may wonder why I had such a harsh reaction. It's amazing to me how, so many years later, something can trigger a memory that you thought was safely tucked away from ever seeing the light of day, and then be proven oh so wrong.
I was sixteen. I'd barely had my license a month and I wanted to drive to school for chorus practice. My father had a bad feeling about it and tried to talk me out of it, but it didn't work. I have always been pretty stubborn. I drove to school in the twilight time, with a light rain dusting the windshield off and on. I was almost there - I had just pulled out from the stop light and was accelerating up to the speed limit, but hadn't reached it yet. About 100 feet from the driveway to the school, a man ran out into the road, supposedly chasing a dog. I never saw a dog. I never saw the man until sometime in the instant before the hole showed up in my windshield. I found myself stopped in the road looking at the hole and knew something wasn't right, but wasn't really sure what. I pulled into the parking lot and parked the car, but didn't turn it off or turn off the lights. I think someone else did that for me after the police came. There were people around a big pile of something in the road. It was a man and he was clearly hurt pretty badly. I was still confused but things were starting to come together - or apart, as it were.
A lot of questions were asked by the police. A friend of mine who was also coming to the chorus practice, found me and I asked her to go call my parents. They came for me, spoke to the police, arranged to get my car back home (I think my brother actually had to drive it - something I don't think I ever thanked him for), and they brought me home.
The next day my mother brought me in to work with her at the family business. Everything was fine until the insurance adjuster called and started asking me questions. I couldn't answer anything, all I could do was cry. My father took the phone away from me and told the man he should never call again - that the insurance company would have to find someone else to handle my case. He was not going to have me badgered and tortured. The man really was very rude and inconsiderate, and my Dad was once again my John Wayne hero, come to save the day.
The man in the road later sued my insurance company for damages. I still believe it cannot have been my fault - there is evidence to the contrary in the way the dents were positioned on my car. By Virginia's very strict rulings on how guilt would be determined, I would probably have been found not guilty if the insurance company's lawyers had gone to court. But they decided to settle instead. I don't think I mind that much - I believe he was wrong, but he still suffered. If the money he got from the insurance company helped in some small way, I'm glad for him.
But he was wrong and he blamed it on a scared, young, new driver who was full of all the drama and terror of the teen years. It took my family almost four months to convince me to get behind the wheel again.
And obviously I am still not completely over it.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Happy Side
Having said the things I said in that last blog, I thought I'd follow it with the happy part of the story.
I married one of my best friends in the whole world. He's a great guy even with his all-too-human faults. Hopefully he thinks the same of me - except I'm a girl, not a guy. We share very many common interests and beliefs, and where we disagree, we manage to keep the peace and hold intelligent conversations on our differences.
He is from a foreign country, so I have the pleasure of expanding my horizons and learning about the world from a completely different cultural viewpoint - something that thrills and fascinates me.
The marriage came up unexpectedly (on my part at least - I had pretty much relegated him to best-friend status and decided to leave him there), and seems to have evolved from friendship into marriage at lightning speed. If we hadn't already been dating on and off for two and half years, I would think this was especially strange for me.
But, knowing the relationship we've had, and the constant battle I fight between logic and emotion, I really couldn't see this turning out any other way. Both logic and emotion found goods and bads, and both sides found that the goods outweighed the bads. Besides, Katy had already told me that I either had to accept him how he is or let him go. I'd tried that second several times and it never really took.
So how did this sudden evolutionary leap come about? I'm so glad you asked! As I said previously, we'd been a non-couple for a few months, but had remained close friends once I got beyond the urge to poke him in the eye. We kept up communication and continued to find more and more bits and pieces of each other that just fit right. I still found moments when I struggled with being frustrated by certain aspects of his personality, and he decided to ask me right smack in the middle of one of those moments. I'm pretty sure he has no idea how close he came to being eviscerated. But he survived, and I managed to say that I'd think about it.
And I did think about it. Several long and sleepless nights were spent thinking about it. Can I handle giving up my freedom and sharing this space I've created for myself? Can he take me as I am no matter what? I can be one hell of a handful sometimes and I know it. Can we truly work as the team/partnership that I view a good marriage to be? Sigh. So many things to consider, but out of all them, the one that kept shouting the loudest was "Do I really love him this much - so much that in spite of how many problems we've had I can still consider the thought of marrying him?" The answer was yes, and so I decided to take the thought processes to him and proceeded to have several long and deeply personal conversations with him about it before making my final decision.
When I finally said yes (which was really only a few days later, but with the lack of sleep and stress of tyring to make such a life-changing decision, it felt more like years) things progressed at the afore-mentioned lightning speed. Tasks to be completed: Look up info on marriage licenses; decide if this will be church or JP; decide if we will wait to involve family/friends, yada yada blah blah blah.
We just happened to pick out our wedding bands the night before we went to apply for the marriage license. Very plain and simple, but elegant (which I think is really synonymous) white gold bands. Mine hides on my hand, with my pale skin and the fact that I wear silver rings on both hands almost all the time. His shows brilliantly against his dark chocolate skin. We didn't take the day off from work because we were only getting a license - we just both arranged to come in late that day. What we'd seen on the county's website suggested that once we had our license we would still have to wait at least three days before we could get married. We figured on doing it after he came back from a business trip the following week.
To our great surprise, we were able to complete the ceremony right there in the Clerk of Court's office the very same morning. Fortunately the rings were with me in the purse I was carrying from the night before. Within 30 minutes of walking into the office for a marriage license, we were actually married. And then we both had to go to work because we hadn't taken the day off. I think the universe was looking out for him. If there had been too much of a delay, I might have found a strong enough reason to change my mind. But then, I can be pretty damn stubborn once I've made a decision. Just ask any member of my family.
We've had a little fun torturing friends and co-workers with the news. Since we work together and we both came in late, and in separate cars that day, there was already some muttering. I got there first and Yaw's supervisor was out for the day so his team didn't know he was going to be late. They asked me about it because they knew we had some kind of relationship, but they weren't sure how deep it ran. I don't think they noticed the ring right away. It might not have been until the following week that they asked if he'd gotten married. He told them yes, but didn't say to whom. They obviously hadn't observed my hand, with an identical ring to his, on any of my visits to his area. He decided to prolong the torture as long as possible.
My own team never did seem to notice the ring on my hand, but like I said, I tend to wear at least two silver rings pretty much all the time. They did ask if we were back together, to which I responded with a vague sort of answer.
Last Friday night, I demanded a date night, because I can do that, and we decided to spend it having dinner at Durango's Steak House, then watching a movie. During dinner, Yaw got a call from Jim (on his team at work). He picked it up thinking there must be some emergency at work. Jim told him he was calling to tell him he was an idiot because when his wife heard that Yaw had gotten married, but wasn't telling to whom, she went online and looked up the public records on him. And there I was. Then Yaw handed me the phone so Jim could tell me the same thing.
Since the cat was out of the bag with his team, we decided to go ahead and tell the rest of our co-workers. Quite a lot of surprise and cheering ensued, which was good to hear. Then we announced it to our Hashing friends during the Superbowl halftime. When asked jokingly if I was pregnant, I said that I wasn't but Yaw was. Fortunately there had been enough beer consumed for a couple of folks to think that was actually funny. Now my Hashing girlfriends want to throw me a post-bachelorette party. I suppose that can be fun. OK, I KNOW that can be fun. I've been to some of the bachelorette flings we've had. I don't even care if I get presents - well, maybe a few presents...
So anyway, there is the happy side of the story.
I married one of my best friends in the whole world. He's a great guy even with his all-too-human faults. Hopefully he thinks the same of me - except I'm a girl, not a guy. We share very many common interests and beliefs, and where we disagree, we manage to keep the peace and hold intelligent conversations on our differences.
He is from a foreign country, so I have the pleasure of expanding my horizons and learning about the world from a completely different cultural viewpoint - something that thrills and fascinates me.
The marriage came up unexpectedly (on my part at least - I had pretty much relegated him to best-friend status and decided to leave him there), and seems to have evolved from friendship into marriage at lightning speed. If we hadn't already been dating on and off for two and half years, I would think this was especially strange for me.
But, knowing the relationship we've had, and the constant battle I fight between logic and emotion, I really couldn't see this turning out any other way. Both logic and emotion found goods and bads, and both sides found that the goods outweighed the bads. Besides, Katy had already told me that I either had to accept him how he is or let him go. I'd tried that second several times and it never really took.
So how did this sudden evolutionary leap come about? I'm so glad you asked! As I said previously, we'd been a non-couple for a few months, but had remained close friends once I got beyond the urge to poke him in the eye. We kept up communication and continued to find more and more bits and pieces of each other that just fit right. I still found moments when I struggled with being frustrated by certain aspects of his personality, and he decided to ask me right smack in the middle of one of those moments. I'm pretty sure he has no idea how close he came to being eviscerated. But he survived, and I managed to say that I'd think about it.
And I did think about it. Several long and sleepless nights were spent thinking about it. Can I handle giving up my freedom and sharing this space I've created for myself? Can he take me as I am no matter what? I can be one hell of a handful sometimes and I know it. Can we truly work as the team/partnership that I view a good marriage to be? Sigh. So many things to consider, but out of all them, the one that kept shouting the loudest was "Do I really love him this much - so much that in spite of how many problems we've had I can still consider the thought of marrying him?" The answer was yes, and so I decided to take the thought processes to him and proceeded to have several long and deeply personal conversations with him about it before making my final decision.
When I finally said yes (which was really only a few days later, but with the lack of sleep and stress of tyring to make such a life-changing decision, it felt more like years) things progressed at the afore-mentioned lightning speed. Tasks to be completed: Look up info on marriage licenses; decide if this will be church or JP; decide if we will wait to involve family/friends, yada yada blah blah blah.
We just happened to pick out our wedding bands the night before we went to apply for the marriage license. Very plain and simple, but elegant (which I think is really synonymous) white gold bands. Mine hides on my hand, with my pale skin and the fact that I wear silver rings on both hands almost all the time. His shows brilliantly against his dark chocolate skin. We didn't take the day off from work because we were only getting a license - we just both arranged to come in late that day. What we'd seen on the county's website suggested that once we had our license we would still have to wait at least three days before we could get married. We figured on doing it after he came back from a business trip the following week.
To our great surprise, we were able to complete the ceremony right there in the Clerk of Court's office the very same morning. Fortunately the rings were with me in the purse I was carrying from the night before. Within 30 minutes of walking into the office for a marriage license, we were actually married. And then we both had to go to work because we hadn't taken the day off. I think the universe was looking out for him. If there had been too much of a delay, I might have found a strong enough reason to change my mind. But then, I can be pretty damn stubborn once I've made a decision. Just ask any member of my family.
We've had a little fun torturing friends and co-workers with the news. Since we work together and we both came in late, and in separate cars that day, there was already some muttering. I got there first and Yaw's supervisor was out for the day so his team didn't know he was going to be late. They asked me about it because they knew we had some kind of relationship, but they weren't sure how deep it ran. I don't think they noticed the ring right away. It might not have been until the following week that they asked if he'd gotten married. He told them yes, but didn't say to whom. They obviously hadn't observed my hand, with an identical ring to his, on any of my visits to his area. He decided to prolong the torture as long as possible.
My own team never did seem to notice the ring on my hand, but like I said, I tend to wear at least two silver rings pretty much all the time. They did ask if we were back together, to which I responded with a vague sort of answer.
Last Friday night, I demanded a date night, because I can do that, and we decided to spend it having dinner at Durango's Steak House, then watching a movie. During dinner, Yaw got a call from Jim (on his team at work). He picked it up thinking there must be some emergency at work. Jim told him he was calling to tell him he was an idiot because when his wife heard that Yaw had gotten married, but wasn't telling to whom, she went online and looked up the public records on him. And there I was. Then Yaw handed me the phone so Jim could tell me the same thing.
Since the cat was out of the bag with his team, we decided to go ahead and tell the rest of our co-workers. Quite a lot of surprise and cheering ensued, which was good to hear. Then we announced it to our Hashing friends during the Superbowl halftime. When asked jokingly if I was pregnant, I said that I wasn't but Yaw was. Fortunately there had been enough beer consumed for a couple of folks to think that was actually funny. Now my Hashing girlfriends want to throw me a post-bachelorette party. I suppose that can be fun. OK, I KNOW that can be fun. I've been to some of the bachelorette flings we've had. I don't even care if I get presents - well, maybe a few presents...
So anyway, there is the happy side of the story.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes; Turn and Face the Strange...
I got married. Seems like it should be a really joyful happy thing, doesn't it? I am happy, really. I managed to marry someone with whom I am very close on very many levels. I am looking forward to our years of partnership. For a long time now, I have felt the strain of not having someone to be at my side all the time, good times and bad. I have watched all my friends live in their happy coupledom and thought to myself "I am ready to be there again."
I've been married before and so has my new husband, Yaw. And both of us walked away from those past marriages with various bumps and bruises. Some of them we are long over. Some we are addressing, individually, as a couple or both.
But the biggest hurdle I have is my own family. I knew not everyone would be happy to hear this. Especially since Yaw and I had just spent the past several months in decided non-coupledom, and my family didn't get any warning that this was coming. So I understand their shock and getting the news. I wish I could make it easy on them, but then I remember that this decision wasn't theirs to make or to approve. I hope the nay-sayers will eventually ease up and come to accept this as it is truly my choice, and I honestly believe I would make it again.
WE definitely have our differences, but what couple doesn't? And we're definitely not perfect, but in the words of my beloved Mara (paraphrased because my memory sucks these days) "I'd like to see the person who claims that his/her marriage is perfect so that I can call him/her a liar to his/her face."
So I love Yaw. And he loves me. And even when we weren't a couple we were there for each other all the time, no matter what. What's so bad about that?
My adorable little townhouse that still needs some cosmetic work is now packed full with extra furniture, boxes, random crap, and holy cow the man has more clothes that god. Oy! I know why, but it's still insane to me. Have to whittle that stuff down some...
The cats have been less of a problem for him than I feared. I think we can manage that fairly well as long as I can keep things (potty box, etc.) clean. It will be easier when we have less random piles of crap lying around getting in the way of a good sweep/dust/mop session.
And the cats themselves don't seem to be suffering from it at all. If anything, they think it's a great adventure - well, now that they know the boxes don't mean THEY'RE moving again. So now they just pick a box at random and rub all over the sides of it, as if this action makes the contents of said box their property whenever it is removed from said box. There may be some disappointments in their future in that regard.
We have other tasks to conquer as well. We didn't just combine two households; we are combining two lives. So we have to make everything work as a part of that whole team thing. Money, scheduling, life's random challenges... Lots of areas to cover. We were both already somewhat familiar with each other's financial pictures, so that helps. Oh, the myriad things to consider. I don't remember thinking this hard the last time. Oh, wait. That's because I was young, naive, and thought the marriage was pretty much just that ceremony thing followed by eternal happiness. Right. And then there's reality! I think I stand a much better chance this time around. As a friend said to me recently, second time around is always better. :-)
I've been married before and so has my new husband, Yaw. And both of us walked away from those past marriages with various bumps and bruises. Some of them we are long over. Some we are addressing, individually, as a couple or both.
But the biggest hurdle I have is my own family. I knew not everyone would be happy to hear this. Especially since Yaw and I had just spent the past several months in decided non-coupledom, and my family didn't get any warning that this was coming. So I understand their shock and getting the news. I wish I could make it easy on them, but then I remember that this decision wasn't theirs to make or to approve. I hope the nay-sayers will eventually ease up and come to accept this as it is truly my choice, and I honestly believe I would make it again.
WE definitely have our differences, but what couple doesn't? And we're definitely not perfect, but in the words of my beloved Mara (paraphrased because my memory sucks these days) "I'd like to see the person who claims that his/her marriage is perfect so that I can call him/her a liar to his/her face."
So I love Yaw. And he loves me. And even when we weren't a couple we were there for each other all the time, no matter what. What's so bad about that?
My adorable little townhouse that still needs some cosmetic work is now packed full with extra furniture, boxes, random crap, and holy cow the man has more clothes that god. Oy! I know why, but it's still insane to me. Have to whittle that stuff down some...
The cats have been less of a problem for him than I feared. I think we can manage that fairly well as long as I can keep things (potty box, etc.) clean. It will be easier when we have less random piles of crap lying around getting in the way of a good sweep/dust/mop session.
And the cats themselves don't seem to be suffering from it at all. If anything, they think it's a great adventure - well, now that they know the boxes don't mean THEY'RE moving again. So now they just pick a box at random and rub all over the sides of it, as if this action makes the contents of said box their property whenever it is removed from said box. There may be some disappointments in their future in that regard.
We have other tasks to conquer as well. We didn't just combine two households; we are combining two lives. So we have to make everything work as a part of that whole team thing. Money, scheduling, life's random challenges... Lots of areas to cover. We were both already somewhat familiar with each other's financial pictures, so that helps. Oh, the myriad things to consider. I don't remember thinking this hard the last time. Oh, wait. That's because I was young, naive, and thought the marriage was pretty much just that ceremony thing followed by eternal happiness. Right. And then there's reality! I think I stand a much better chance this time around. As a friend said to me recently, second time around is always better. :-)
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