It keeps looking at me. Sometimes it stares. Sometimes it's annoying because I'm not sure how I'm going to get to the goal I've set. Sometimes it's challenging me and I feel like pouncing on it and tearing it to shreds just to prove that I am more than up to that challenge.
I have full confidence that once I find the best way to get started on my goal, I will achieve it and make the best use of the skills I gain. The goal itself isn't my challenge right now. My challenge is funding that goal. Another challenge is deciding the best way to work towards it once the funding is out of the way.
Beyond the funding roadblock (which I expect to clear very soon, one way or another), there are two paths before me. (Clarification: there are infinite paths before me, but I am focused on two of them.) The first path is the original way I intended to go about reaching my goal, and the second is a new option offered to me by Yaw which I am taking into consideration.
It might help to know what the crazy goal is, I guess. I plan to start Massage Therapy School in August. Initially I will use this as a mode of bringing in extra income to help out with some common goals Yaw and I have set. In time, I may be able to make it my full-time job and stop working for giant companies who only care about the bottom line. So. On to the two paths.
Path one: continue working for the giant company full-time and take the courses part-time, which will cost about the same, but will take twice as long and I will have no time for social activities and very little rest. But I will be gainfully employed with all my benefits in place. Under the current economic black cloud, that seems to be the safest course.
Path two: apply for a six-month leave of absence from the giant company, take up a part-time job (maybe McHell again - they have benefits for part-timers if I remember correctly), and do the course full-time. The danger here is that since the leave of absence is not for military service (like the Reserves), and its purpose in no way increases my value to said giant company, there is nothing keeping said giant company from filling my position while I am gone. Admittedly, since I do believe I will be quite good at massage, and the school I want to attend offers placement upon certification, this is probably not as big a deal as I am making it.
Yaw seems to be highly in favor of me taking the second path. I know between us we could make the bills work - not even a little doubt of that. Further support of his plan comes from the fact that our giant company has been making giant changes lately, and so far each one seems to screw the peons at the bottom (ie. ME) a little more. They raised our health insurance payments and next year the option I have will no longer be available - I'll be forced to either take on a High Deductible Savings Account, or find insurance elsewhere. This year no one got raises (when I say no one, I have no idea if the upper escelons are included). Each year they take our bonues and give them to some charity - I don't mind giving to the charity, but I want it to be my own choice - this way it only makes the company look good.
I am feeling pretty fed up with giant company world and am thinking that this is a good time to turn the world upside down again. Once I have this taken care of, I can go back to the path Ann wants me to follow, which is to complete my Bachelor's in business so that I can run my own place and be the most awesome Massage Therapist and Reiki Master (once I get my second and third attunements) in the state of Florida.
Now that I have vomitted out all (most?) of my thoughts on this matter (for the moment), I need to get started with my Saturday morning so I can get it over with and get on to Saturday afternoon where all the fun stuff happens.
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