I got married. Seems like it should be a really joyful happy thing, doesn't it? I am happy, really. I managed to marry someone with whom I am very close on very many levels. I am looking forward to our years of partnership. For a long time now, I have felt the strain of not having someone to be at my side all the time, good times and bad. I have watched all my friends live in their happy coupledom and thought to myself "I am ready to be there again."
I've been married before and so has my new husband, Yaw. And both of us walked away from those past marriages with various bumps and bruises. Some of them we are long over. Some we are addressing, individually, as a couple or both.
But the biggest hurdle I have is my own family. I knew not everyone would be happy to hear this. Especially since Yaw and I had just spent the past several months in decided non-coupledom, and my family didn't get any warning that this was coming. So I understand their shock and getting the news. I wish I could make it easy on them, but then I remember that this decision wasn't theirs to make or to approve. I hope the nay-sayers will eventually ease up and come to accept this as it is truly my choice, and I honestly believe I would make it again.
WE definitely have our differences, but what couple doesn't? And we're definitely not perfect, but in the words of my beloved Mara (paraphrased because my memory sucks these days) "I'd like to see the person who claims that his/her marriage is perfect so that I can call him/her a liar to his/her face."
So I love Yaw. And he loves me. And even when we weren't a couple we were there for each other all the time, no matter what. What's so bad about that?
My adorable little townhouse that still needs some cosmetic work is now packed full with extra furniture, boxes, random crap, and holy cow the man has more clothes that god. Oy! I know why, but it's still insane to me. Have to whittle that stuff down some...
The cats have been less of a problem for him than I feared. I think we can manage that fairly well as long as I can keep things (potty box, etc.) clean. It will be easier when we have less random piles of crap lying around getting in the way of a good sweep/dust/mop session.
And the cats themselves don't seem to be suffering from it at all. If anything, they think it's a great adventure - well, now that they know the boxes don't mean THEY'RE moving again. So now they just pick a box at random and rub all over the sides of it, as if this action makes the contents of said box their property whenever it is removed from said box. There may be some disappointments in their future in that regard.
We have other tasks to conquer as well. We didn't just combine two households; we are combining two lives. So we have to make everything work as a part of that whole team thing. Money, scheduling, life's random challenges... Lots of areas to cover. We were both already somewhat familiar with each other's financial pictures, so that helps. Oh, the myriad things to consider. I don't remember thinking this hard the last time. Oh, wait. That's because I was young, naive, and thought the marriage was pretty much just that ceremony thing followed by eternal happiness. Right. And then there's reality! I think I stand a much better chance this time around. As a friend said to me recently, second time around is always better. :-)
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