Bansdhee Baby

Somewhere around Titusville, some angry apartment dweller is thinking, how the devil can I get back at this annoying neighbor.

I'll tell you how. Move a small, unhappy child into your apartment. And teach it to wail like a bansdhee from sun-up to sun-down.

Don't get me wrong--I have sympathy for the tiny tot. It knows it lives in a crap-ass building that desperately needs renovation; and it knows its parents are ticked about that fact, too.

It also knows that sound travels VERY WELL through these walls when the pitch and decibels are at the right levels. And that's what keeps making me do things like turning on the "3 Tenors" CD and blasting Pavarotti in their direction.

I WAS using Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, Queen, Styx (earlier years when they ROCKED). You name it, if it got loud, I tried it. The babe was always just one decibel louder.

But then I was touring some other blogs that friends have pointed out to me. And I found a great suggestion. I'm going to add WHALE NOISE to my media player! Great suggestion from the O'Blog. Nods to that one. I think he should stream Dio constantly on his blog. That would be awesome.

And if that doesn't work, I'll continue watching "Moulin Rouge" at the best volume my poor little TV can manage.

I have nothing against the little tyke. It's just that I have never, ever in my whole time here, heard one happy sound come from that apartment. Not once. I find myself wanting to poke my head through the wall and make google eyes at it just to confuse it into silence.

Why do I say "it," you ask? Because I have never SEEN this baby. I have no idea if it is male or female. Gasp! OMG, I just figured it out. It's not a baby at all! It really IS a bansdhee! AAAAYYYYEEEE!

And the TV just gave me my solution. Some cereal commercial (don't ask me what--I don't pay that much attention) where some manager guy keeps trying to fire this guy who never hears him because he's eating crunchy cereal. Then the cereal guy gets an intern who learns to sit there doing nothing but eat crunchy cereal. So the manager guy makes a "V" out of his fingers and says he's sending them a death ray, and they think he's giving them a peace sign.

I bet if I did that to the bansdhee next door, I could confuse it enough to quiet it down for a time. Then, I'd tickle it until it laughed.