I have to go home to Virginia for a few days. My father's sister, Aunt Mary, passed away this Friday. She has finally been released from the tortures of cancer, and she can rest at last.

I am not going to the funeral. I would, certainly. While I may not have been in close contact with the majority of my extended family, there were a rare few with whom I interacted; and those few I love dearly, deeply, and fiercely. Aunt Mary was one of those few.

Instead of going to the funeral, I am making it possible for my father to go. Someone needs to be at the house with Queen Rose. She is not completely incapacitated, but she does require a good deal of assistance. And someone needs to be around in case she has another fall.

I will honor my Aunt Mary's memory by caring for someone I love, the same thing she would do. Not that I wouldn't have cared for my mother anyway. But somehow, it seems like I'm saying a few good words to my aunt by doing this. "I noticed that, in spite of your tough exterior and your walls of fire, that you loved the people in your life, and you cared for them in every way that you could."

This will also do me some good. Work is stressful. As much as I know that the stress will only be worse when I get back, it will be nice to have these few days in Queen Rose's court to breathe and hopefully reset my mind a little bit.

Then there's the situation with Yaw. What to do? What to do? I don't want to give up. He doesn't want me to give up. I'm not sure he wants to give up what he would have to give up for us to keep going. I have made my decision for the time being. I am waiting patiently, but not very kindly. He faces constant reminders of the bind he is in and I will not let up the pressure. I do, however, make it plain that my inner most feelings have not changed. He has my whole heart and for the moment, nothing can change that.

He has to decide. I just need to breathe. For a few brief days, please just let me breathe. I will come back to it all, and maybe the dam will break and at last all the pressures and stresses will be put to rest.

Like my wonderful, fiery Aunt Mary, only with me left alive and well, and breathing.