Careful...

I really need to be more careful about how I state my desires and intentions.  The universe keeps taking my words and fulfilling them in undesirable ways because I forget to add a positive spin to my statements.  

Example: I have been missing my VA family terribly recently, partly because it's the holiday season and partly because it's just been too damn long since I've seen them all.  January and I were discussing possible plans to visit everyone in March, once Clara is born and has "aged" a little.  I mentioned that I intended to get there sooner than that if I could make it happen.  

Well, I'm here now.  Yep, January 1, 2012. I got here Friday (2 days ago) on a flight January and Giles paid for so I could be here with my Dad, who was in ICU at the time, and help take some of the burden off my sister, Ann, who has been handling everything to the best of her abilities. Dad has bronchitis, a UTI, and cellulitis.  His legs were apparently improved from the level of swelling when he checked in, but were still looking pretty bad.  He was also finally starting to cough up the green mucous from his lungs.

When I got here, the medical staff had changed Dad's pain medication.  They had him on morphine, but that apparently makes him evil - imagine John Wayne as Rooster Cogburn on one of his less sociable days.  So they switched him to opium.  Opium.  When I got here, Dad was never really lucid even when he responded to questions with semi-sensible answers.  He was hallucinating, partly due to the opium, but also due to the infections running through his body and severe pain in his legs and along his right side.  At any given moment he might be saying a perfectly normal sentence and suddenly start speaking to the smiley faces on the ceiling.  He made several comments that made us think he was reliving war time in Korea or Vietnam.  Not the kinds of things we would like for him to be reliving while doped up out of his mind.  

But the good news is, he is now out of the ICU.  He's been moved to the cardiology section because the doctors feel the swelling in his legs is possibly due to a heart issue.  They've ordered an ECHO, but since this is New Year's Day (on a Sunday), we're not sure if it will happen on Monday or Tuesday.  Either way, he'll be in the hospital until the results are back from that.  Then there's a strong possibility of him spending time in rehab since he can't put weight on his feet and legs.  

So, I'm here, but I really wish it was for happier reasons - like showing off January's new baby girl - which was going to happen in March, and they were going to bring me along.  And if I'd just been patient...  

I know.  I don't control what happens to others, and it's not about me.  But I still feel bad that it had to happen this way, so here's how I'm going to close this. 

I want my Dad to be happy and healthy and back in his own home with happy and healthy family around him. 

I love you, Dad.